blackvassal:

soulgems:

I was at main event today and when I was playing lazer tag this 10 year old boy ran up to me and told me I was ugly but I smiled and told him I thought he was very handsome and he blushed and apologized for insulting me then he protected me through the whole game and even shot his own teammates but the greatest part is that when his friend called him a traitor he rolled his eyes and turned to me and apologized for his friend being “a total noob”

children

(via rincentric)

queuecumber

Satan: [appears]

Satan: You can have anything you wan--

Me: LANGUAGE.

Satan: What?

Me: GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE.

Satan: What the--?

Me: YOU SAID ANYTHING. GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE IN THE WORLD.

Satan: Wouldn't you rather have love or money?

Me: EVERY. LANGUAGE. MASTERY OF EVERY LANGUAGE. NOW.